Losing my mind

I haven't posted in a while, not that it matters. A lot of you know me. I don't see a person that follows me that doesn't. Lately, I've been seeing a lot of blogs from fellow veterans of these United States Military posting a lot about PTSD. I don't know what to say to them. I'm not saying I don't suffer from it. I just suffer a different way. I don't regret killing anyone. I never killed anyone that wasn't shooting at me or my friends. I have major survivor's guilt. I have friends that were set up to do something great. Own and operate a bar, got to Maryland U., start a family, own/operate any business, etc. What have I done? Got my Associate's degree in Gunsmithing and not done a thing with it, worked for a newspaper press delivering thousands of newspapers to other cities, and currently works at Lowe's Home Improvement with a crappy management staff. Which is basically nothing. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone know anyone looking to invest/donate to a building gunsmithing LLC? I just don't know what to do. Just needing some help getting my mind/career organized. Tired of watching reality television. It's all a bunch of made up drama. Those that watch it make life worse those around them. Politics have become just like reality tv. I think they put reality tv out there so that when we watch political debates it's the same and they look at ratings. To top it all off, Clover just farted and it smells like rotten eggs.