Monday, July 16, 2012
Losing my mind
I haven't posted in a while, not that it matters. A lot of you know me. I don't see a person that follows me that doesn't.
Lately, I've been seeing a lot of blogs from fellow veterans of these United States Military posting a lot about PTSD. I don't know what to say to them. I'm not saying I don't suffer from it. I just suffer a different way. I don't regret killing anyone. I never killed anyone that wasn't shooting at me or my friends. I have major survivor's guilt. I have friends that were set up to do something great. Own and operate a bar, got to Maryland U., start a family, own/operate any business, etc. What have I done? Got my Associate's degree in Gunsmithing and not done a thing with it, worked for a newspaper press delivering thousands of newspapers to other cities, and currently works at Lowe's Home Improvement with a crappy management staff. Which is basically nothing.
Anyone have any ideas? Anyone know anyone looking to invest/donate to a building gunsmithing LLC? I just don't know what to do. Just needing some help getting my mind/career organized.
Tired of watching reality television. It's all a bunch of made up drama. Those that watch it make life worse those around them. Politics have become just like reality tv. I think they put reality tv out there so that when we watch political debates it's the same and they look at ratings.
To top it all off, Clover just farted and it smells like rotten eggs.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I'm Back!
Ok, so I haven't posted for a long, long time, but I'm back. I just wanted to share that I am almost a graduate from Colorado School of Trades, with an Associates Degree in Occupational Study of Gunsmithing! I'm so excited!
A week and day I will graduate and will start my 4 day journey home. I'm headed to Kansas first to visit friends and Family. Then, it's off to Lawton, OK. to visit my buddy, return his guns to him, and help him celebrate retiring from the Army after 20 years! Cheers, Jason! Then it's off to Henderson, TN. maybe with a lunch with my Uncle Keith and his wife Sandra. But I will be home Easter Sunday!
For those wondering, I am going start right away on building things for my shop, getting the gutters to the house clean, and finalizing a couple of gun projects that aren't finished. 3, I think. Go and shoot Mary's cousin's gun. He said that it shot 150 grain bullets just fine, but the 180 grain wouldn't hold a group. I smoothed up the muzzle crown and hopefully that will do the trick. Second and third (in no particular order) I am going to finish Mary's gun (you can see the progress in my photos on facebook or in Victory Ranges/ Gunsmithing) and I will finish the revolver grips that I am working on.
I am waiting to hear back from Union University and University of Tennessee to see if I get accepted, and I will Major in Business. So that I can do the things I need to do, to keep my shop and range floating, when I build them! That's all for now. Good hunting and safe shooting. -Chris
A week and day I will graduate and will start my 4 day journey home. I'm headed to Kansas first to visit friends and Family. Then, it's off to Lawton, OK. to visit my buddy, return his guns to him, and help him celebrate retiring from the Army after 20 years! Cheers, Jason! Then it's off to Henderson, TN. maybe with a lunch with my Uncle Keith and his wife Sandra. But I will be home Easter Sunday!
For those wondering, I am going start right away on building things for my shop, getting the gutters to the house clean, and finalizing a couple of gun projects that aren't finished. 3, I think. Go and shoot Mary's cousin's gun. He said that it shot 150 grain bullets just fine, but the 180 grain wouldn't hold a group. I smoothed up the muzzle crown and hopefully that will do the trick. Second and third (in no particular order) I am going to finish Mary's gun (you can see the progress in my photos on facebook or in Victory Ranges/ Gunsmithing) and I will finish the revolver grips that I am working on.
I am waiting to hear back from Union University and University of Tennessee to see if I get accepted, and I will Major in Business. So that I can do the things I need to do, to keep my shop and range floating, when I build them! That's all for now. Good hunting and safe shooting. -Chris
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Lesson Learned!
So, I'm trying to lose some weight. I gained more weight than anticipated after I got out of the Army. I was working a job that I liked well enough, but the pay could have been better for compensation for the crazy hours.
Example of my typical work week (just to show you what I was going through):
Monday: noon- about 6pm.
Tuesday: Noon- WHENEVER! (Most of the time 2am Wed. morning, as early as 9 pm and late as 5 am Wed.)
Wednesday: (depending on when I get off Tues.) 8 am or noon- 5:30 pm. But I must be asleep by 7 pm because (See Thursday)
Thursday: 1:30 am- Noon
Friday: any one's guess.
So a mix of stress, depression, and unfortunate reliance junk food, I gained a bit o' weight.
Now that I have a set schedule for once in the last 7 years, I feel I can start a regimen of weight loss pills, that I've used before, but on a random schedule. I'm also taking a drink mix that gives you energy for a good long workout.
Well, today is the second day of the pills. I woke up this morning, took 2 pills, waited 30 minutes before I ate breakfast (as directed) and felt fine. About 4 pm I took the drink powder, went for a mile run or so. At a little before 7 pm I took 2 more pills and I think that is where I went wrong. I shouldn't have taken them this close to the powder. And I waited longer than I should have to eat (took longer to cook fajitas than anticipated). I felt like my world was going to end! So much anxiety! I couldn't stop shaking, or feeling like I should induce vomiting (I didn't because I didn't want to waste the fajitas).
After waiting a little while and laying down flat and drinking some water, I felt much better! I think another reason for it, is because it is suppose to go before breakfast and lunch. Since I woke up late this morning I just waited for lunch and took them for lunch and dinner.
After experiencing what happens when I do this, I come to the conclusion to take it the proper way with an early breakfast and a Noon lunch and using the pre-workout podwer at around 5 pm. This is just a lesson learned that I want pass on to those looking to lose weight. I feel fine now, just incase anyone was wondering.
Example of my typical work week (just to show you what I was going through):
Monday: noon- about 6pm.
Tuesday: Noon- WHENEVER! (Most of the time 2am Wed. morning, as early as 9 pm and late as 5 am Wed.)
Wednesday: (depending on when I get off Tues.) 8 am or noon- 5:30 pm. But I must be asleep by 7 pm because (See Thursday)
Thursday: 1:30 am- Noon
Friday: any one's guess.
So a mix of stress, depression, and unfortunate reliance junk food, I gained a bit o' weight.
Now that I have a set schedule for once in the last 7 years, I feel I can start a regimen of weight loss pills, that I've used before, but on a random schedule. I'm also taking a drink mix that gives you energy for a good long workout.
Well, today is the second day of the pills. I woke up this morning, took 2 pills, waited 30 minutes before I ate breakfast (as directed) and felt fine. About 4 pm I took the drink powder, went for a mile run or so. At a little before 7 pm I took 2 more pills and I think that is where I went wrong. I shouldn't have taken them this close to the powder. And I waited longer than I should have to eat (took longer to cook fajitas than anticipated). I felt like my world was going to end! So much anxiety! I couldn't stop shaking, or feeling like I should induce vomiting (I didn't because I didn't want to waste the fajitas).
After waiting a little while and laying down flat and drinking some water, I felt much better! I think another reason for it, is because it is suppose to go before breakfast and lunch. Since I woke up late this morning I just waited for lunch and took them for lunch and dinner.
After experiencing what happens when I do this, I come to the conclusion to take it the proper way with an early breakfast and a Noon lunch and using the pre-workout podwer at around 5 pm. This is just a lesson learned that I want pass on to those looking to lose weight. I feel fine now, just incase anyone was wondering.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Frailty
This is my first post. At first, I didn't know what to write about. Now I think I have a clue.
DISCIPLINE
My father has always been a big part of my life. Always there when I need a little discipline, and there when I need encouragement. I remember one time I was suppose to be cleaning the play room of our house. Instead, I was playing, he caught me, and asked me if I wanted a spanking. I accidentally said yes. So I got what I deserved. That's the only time I can remember him raising his hand to me.
My parents divorced when I was about 9. I was in the fourth grade. We got to see him every now and then, he moved to a town about an hour away. Soon he had moved back to just outside of town with his girlfriend. I thought that was great! They lived on a farm, there was peace and quiet and work to be done.
We were clearing trees from and area about half an acre. We would use 2 person-saws, and bow saws to cut the tree, then we needed to get rid of the stumps, so we dug around the stump and cut the roots, then he used the front-end loader and a chain to lift the rest of the stump out. He would use the chain and drag the trees that we fell to consolidated area. I would grab to trees and drag them behind. It helped build my strength and endurance at a young age. I saw I was around 14 and 15 when we started.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Now I am 25. About 6 months ago I got out of the Army, and was looking for something to do with myself. I was Infantry, so a lot didn't convert over to civilian life. I wanted to become a police officer (just like my dad and his dad), but the reccession the way it is, nobody is hiring for the perticular job. I talked to a good friend of mine and he was telling me how he is doing what he loves. He is a welder and told me that he could have had a different job that paid better, but he wouldn't have been happy. I took his advice and started looking for things that I enjoy. I was going to apply at a local college, but I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. I looked up "Gunsmithing" talked it over with my wife. She seemed ok with it, but I was a little unsure.
I talked to Dad a few weeks after and he had said: "Wade in." I didn't know what he meant. So I asked him.
Let me go back a moment. Earlier this year he had moved from Kansas (where I grew up) to Florida. Moved in with a girl he had met during his tilapidry. So his lingo has changed a wee bit.
So he clarified what he meant. This time he said: "Wade into the water, grab the shark by the gills." WOW! It is an odd saying, but it really put me forth. He goes on to say: "What is holding you back? Time? Money? No." And he was right. I was 24 when I applied to school, and I'm going to pay for it through the GI Bill. The only problem is, is that my wife will stay in Tennessee. The school is in Colorado. Not a problem.
Now on the the FRAIL part of my story. My Dad and his Florida girlfriend broke-up. I don't know the perticulars, but he decided that it would be best to move back to Kansas. I told him that if he wanted to stop by, that I wouldn't have any problem with it. So he did. I was so excited that he said yes. The only visitors from my side of the family have been 2 of my sisters and my brother as he and his family drove from Georgia to Washington. But I am still real happy that Dad had decided to come by here.
The plan was, he gives me a call when he is in the next town south. We live 4 miles south of Henderson, and he was suppose to call about 8 or 9 miles south of Henderson. Well T-Mobile doesn't have any service around here, apparently. So he drove all the way into town and called from a gas station. No problem. I drove and met him. He followed me back to the house.
When he got out of the car, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was so small. I mean, he wasn't a huge man to begin with. But he had lost so much weight. He walked over to me with a slight limp, which I thought was from sitting in a car for 13 hours, but it seemed to kinda get worse the more he walked around in the house. He said that his friend had H1N1. And that about a week later that Dad had the same exact symptoms and just lost weight.
I had told my mother-in-law about how bad I felt for the man. She said that it is the worst to see one's father grow old and weak. My Dad is 50 years old. He's not a young man anymore, but he's not that old. He has been beat down multiple times in his life by things he cannot control, but he's always sprung back. I'm sure he will spring back from this, but it breaks my heart to see him this way.
I guess I just wanted to rant a little. Anyone reading this should think on what I have said and be prepared to see the person that is your source of strength and encouragement, become weak and frail. Just think on it, will ya?
DISCIPLINE
My father has always been a big part of my life. Always there when I need a little discipline, and there when I need encouragement. I remember one time I was suppose to be cleaning the play room of our house. Instead, I was playing, he caught me, and asked me if I wanted a spanking. I accidentally said yes. So I got what I deserved. That's the only time I can remember him raising his hand to me.
My parents divorced when I was about 9. I was in the fourth grade. We got to see him every now and then, he moved to a town about an hour away. Soon he had moved back to just outside of town with his girlfriend. I thought that was great! They lived on a farm, there was peace and quiet and work to be done.
We were clearing trees from and area about half an acre. We would use 2 person-saws, and bow saws to cut the tree, then we needed to get rid of the stumps, so we dug around the stump and cut the roots, then he used the front-end loader and a chain to lift the rest of the stump out. He would use the chain and drag the trees that we fell to consolidated area. I would grab to trees and drag them behind. It helped build my strength and endurance at a young age. I saw I was around 14 and 15 when we started.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Now I am 25. About 6 months ago I got out of the Army, and was looking for something to do with myself. I was Infantry, so a lot didn't convert over to civilian life. I wanted to become a police officer (just like my dad and his dad), but the reccession the way it is, nobody is hiring for the perticular job. I talked to a good friend of mine and he was telling me how he is doing what he loves. He is a welder and told me that he could have had a different job that paid better, but he wouldn't have been happy. I took his advice and started looking for things that I enjoy. I was going to apply at a local college, but I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. I looked up "Gunsmithing" talked it over with my wife. She seemed ok with it, but I was a little unsure.
I talked to Dad a few weeks after and he had said: "Wade in." I didn't know what he meant. So I asked him.
Let me go back a moment. Earlier this year he had moved from Kansas (where I grew up) to Florida. Moved in with a girl he had met during his tilapidry. So his lingo has changed a wee bit.
So he clarified what he meant. This time he said: "Wade into the water, grab the shark by the gills." WOW! It is an odd saying, but it really put me forth. He goes on to say: "What is holding you back? Time? Money? No." And he was right. I was 24 when I applied to school, and I'm going to pay for it through the GI Bill. The only problem is, is that my wife will stay in Tennessee. The school is in Colorado. Not a problem.
Now on the the FRAIL part of my story. My Dad and his Florida girlfriend broke-up. I don't know the perticulars, but he decided that it would be best to move back to Kansas. I told him that if he wanted to stop by, that I wouldn't have any problem with it. So he did. I was so excited that he said yes. The only visitors from my side of the family have been 2 of my sisters and my brother as he and his family drove from Georgia to Washington. But I am still real happy that Dad had decided to come by here.
The plan was, he gives me a call when he is in the next town south. We live 4 miles south of Henderson, and he was suppose to call about 8 or 9 miles south of Henderson. Well T-Mobile doesn't have any service around here, apparently. So he drove all the way into town and called from a gas station. No problem. I drove and met him. He followed me back to the house.
When he got out of the car, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was so small. I mean, he wasn't a huge man to begin with. But he had lost so much weight. He walked over to me with a slight limp, which I thought was from sitting in a car for 13 hours, but it seemed to kinda get worse the more he walked around in the house. He said that his friend had H1N1. And that about a week later that Dad had the same exact symptoms and just lost weight.
I had told my mother-in-law about how bad I felt for the man. She said that it is the worst to see one's father grow old and weak. My Dad is 50 years old. He's not a young man anymore, but he's not that old. He has been beat down multiple times in his life by things he cannot control, but he's always sprung back. I'm sure he will spring back from this, but it breaks my heart to see him this way.
I guess I just wanted to rant a little. Anyone reading this should think on what I have said and be prepared to see the person that is your source of strength and encouragement, become weak and frail. Just think on it, will ya?
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